“Never scrub your arse with a wire brush.”
“All anyone really needs to know about barbed wire is that it can tear the arse out of your trousers, give a cow a good fright, entangle a Yorkshire terrier for life, and is nasty stuff made by greedy men.”
“A despairing arse will never produce a happy fart.”
“A fart is just your arse applauding.”
“The world is like a cucumber—today it's in your hand, tomorrow up your arse.”
“Leeky Shortz says "Live life like your arse is on fire!”