“Hell, if someome wrote a book about you, well, it'd sell a million copies the day it was released. And if someone else was clever enough to write a parody - you know, to privide som comic relief during these extremely difficult economic times - that would probably be an even bigger seller, or at least it shoud be. So, just come clean with me, Ed. Your secret's safe with me, and whoever reads my internet blog. You...are...a...vampire!”

“You kids today don’t understand. You go into the stalls, and you sit on the toilets, and you read your comic books. But you never think about the brave cleaning supplies that gave their lives so you could have a safe place to do your business.”

“Today, my love, I am too tired to write for you. You will find in your heart a letter, several pages, full of silence. Read it slowly. The light of this day wrote it for me. In it, it si just about you and the rest coming to me each time I look to you, far away, hundreds kilometers from here.”

“It didn't occur to me that my books would be widely read at all, and that enabled me to write anything I wanted to. And even once I realized that they were being read, I still wrote as if I were writing in secret. That's how one has to write anyway--in secret.”

“Whenever I would get too nosy as a child, my grandmother would say, "When you learn someone else's secret, your own secrets aren't safe. Dig up one, release them all.”

“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book. I'll waste no time reading it.”