“Beans, beans, the musical fruit,The more you eat, the more you toot.”

“Suresy, are we? Mmm! Beans, beans, the musical fruit!” Peeves dismissed James and swooped back up to the rafters again. “The more I plant, the more to toot!”

“How much courage does it take to fire up your tractor and plow under a crop you spent six or seven years growing? How much courage to go on and do that after you've spent all that time finding out how to prepare the soil and when to plant and how much to water and when to reap? How much to just say, "I have to quit these peas. Peas are no good for me, I better try corn or beans.”

“I win, you win. You win, I win. The gun, I win. The fruit, you win. I win, you win.”

“The more you read, the less apt you are to make a fool of yourself with your pen or word processor.”

“All you imagined, no matter how wild it might seem, was no more than a disguised version of what you already knew.”

“PRECOGNITION, TELEPATHY, BULLSHIT! EAT MY DONG, YOU EXTRASENSORY TURKEY!”