“downtown Derry looked only marginally more charming than a dead hooker in a church pew.”

“On that gray street, with the smell of industrial smokes in the air and the afternoon bleeding away to evening, downtown Derry looked only marginally more charming than a dead hooker in a church pew.”

“The Catholic Church made a serious mistake when they started caring about how many people are in the pews.”

“I love you more than a hooker loves free VD testing day at the clinic”

“At last, giving me the boat's sail for a bed, he stretched himself out on the jagged rocks, and slept soundly as the unsanctified in a comfortable pew of a church; --I wish the benches were softer, and the cushions higher, as then more people might be tempted to take a nap; it is my only reason for never going.”

“The Westboro Baptist Church is no more a church than Church's Fried Chicken is a church.”