“HEY, BOBBY TERRY, YOU SCROOOOWED IT UP!”

“So what he supposed to do? Grab Bobbie's ax and make like Jack Nicholson in The Shinning? He could see it. Smash, crash, bash: Heeeeeeere's GARDENER!”

“Hey, Trash, what did old lady Semple say when you torched her pension check?”

“Chris: How do you know if a Frenchman has been in your backyard?Teddy: Hey, I'm French, okay?Chris: Your garbage cans are empty and your dog's pregnant.[Chris and Gordie laugh]Teddy: Didn't I just say I was French?”

“Keeping up the fiction. You have to keep it up, sometimes, no matter how you feel.”

“Teddy, Vern, Chris: I don't shut up. I grow up. And when I look at you, I throw up. Aghhh!Gordie: And then your mom goes around the corner and she licks it up.”

“You have to live where you wake up, even if somebody else dreamed you there.”