“I don't like people. They fuck me up.”

“Oh Christ, I left my world to watch a kid put shoes on a fucked-up weasel. Shoot me Roland, before I breed.”

“Music on the radio. When I went in, the big bands were just getting up a good head of steam. Now every song sounds like it's about fucking.”

“There'll always be a market for shit, of course. Just look at Jeffrey Archer! He writes like old people fuck doesn't he?”

“It seems to occur to few of the attendees [of a writing retreat] that if you have a feel you just can't describe, you might just be, I don't know, kind of like, my sense of it is, maybe in the wrong fucking class.”

“We're here to fuck shit up”

“I am always chilled and astonished by the would-be writers who ask me for advice and admit, quite blithely, that they "don't have time to read." This is like a guy starting up Mount Everest saying that he didn't have time to buy any rope or pitons.”