“Late last night and the night before, tommyknockers, tommyknockers knocking on my door. I wanna go out, don't know if I can 'cuz I'm so afraid of the tommyknocker man.”

“There isn't so much to be afraid of, out there. I can remember thinking it was funny to find that out, on the last night of my life; I'd spent the rest of it being afraid of everything.”

“Last night I placed a handwritten note on the front door of my neighbor’s house that said, “Sorry, we’re closed. Come back tomorrow after 9 am.” I wouldn’t have done it had I known he’d knock on my door and ask to spend the night because he thought I was open.
”

“Into the dark night Resignedly I go, I am not so afraid of the dark night As the friends I do not know,I do not fear the night aboveAs I fear the friends below.”

“I'm so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark.”

“I know I'm not funny. I mean, let's face it, I'm no Groucho Marx. But if you're a guy, and you're watching late night television, are you gonna start jacking off to Groucho? I don't think so!”