“The more you read, the less apt you are to make a fool of yourself with your pen or word processor.”

“You should never read just for "enjoyment." Read to make yourself smarter! Less judgmental. More apt to understand your friends' insane behavior, or better yet, your own. Pick "hard books." Ones you have to concentrate on while reading. And for god's sake, don't let me ever hear you say, "I can't read fiction. I only have time for the truth." Fiction is the truth, fool! Ever hear of "literature"? That means fiction, too, stupid.”

“If ever you should have an epiphany – and I think you know what I’m talking about – latch onto it, no matter how small or large the epiphany, and try your best to make it happen. You might make a fool of yourself, but better to make a fool of yourself than to spend your life jealous of the fools.”

“If you make a fool of yourself in front of a cat, he will sneer at you, if you are sober; he will leave the room if you are drunk. If you make a fool of yourself in front a dog, he will make a fool of himself, too.”

“You don't make your words true by embellishing them with religious lace. In making your speech sound more religious, it becomes less true.”

“The more you like yourself, the less you are like anyone else, which makes you unique.”