“Under the California desert and subsidized by the taxpayers' money, someone had finally invented a chain letter that really worked. A very lethal chain letter.”

“But who can foresee such things? None of us can predict the final outcomes of our actions, and few of us even try; most of us just do what we do to prolong a moment's pleasure or to stop the pain. And even when we act for the noblest reasons, the last link of the chain all too often drips with someone's blood.”

“Of course they had more chains on him than Scrooge saw on Marley's ghost, but he could have kicked up dickens if he'd wanted. That's a pun, son.”

“Why' is a crooked letter and can't be made straight.”

“We either learn to accept or we end up writing letters home with crayons.”

“You learned to accept, or you ended up in a small room writing letters home with Crayolas.”

“He removed his unvaluable valuables and dumped his shirt, pants, and skivvies into a letter slot.”