“His voice carried authority the way Ben & Jerry's carries calories.”

“I've tucked and tried to roll after that first spread-eagle spin but soon discovered the universal truth that bowling-ball-shaped objects bounce downhill much faster than do mannequin-shaped objects. In my current predicament, speed, obviously, was not my friend.”

“Batterers aren't renowned for taking responsibility for their abusiveness, Sam. They tend to shed blame like a snake molts.”

“Joining the church felt like joining a secret club; and you learned the rules after you joined. The first rule of the church was: Never question what it is that you have joined.”

“Secrets aren't secret. They're just hidden treasures, waiting to be exploited.”

“God places the heaviest burden on those who can carry its weight.”

“This particular type of human carries weapons slightly more lethal than your beloved pink monstrosity”