“Ew. Someone put the dog out, "Rosalie murmured wrinkling her nose.Have you herd this one, Psycho?how do a blond's brain cells die?"She didn't say anything.Well?" I asked."Do you know the punch line or not?"She looked pointedly at the TV and ignored me.Has she heard it?" I asked Edward.No." He answered.Awesome. So you'll enjoy this, bloodsucker--a blond's brain cells die alone.”

“Hey, do you know what you call a blond with a brain?" I asked, and the continued on the same breath, "a golden retriever."I've heard that one, too," she said, no longer smiling.I'll keep trying." I promised.”

“Hey, Rosalie? Do you know how to drown a blonde? Stick a mirror to the bottom of a pool.”

“What's so funny?" Bella mumbled."I got food in her hair," I told her, chortling again."I'm not going to forget this, dog," Rosalie hissed."S'not so hard to erase a blond's memory," I countered. "Just blow in her ear."Get some new jokes, "Rosalie snapped.”

“What did you do to this?' he asked in a horrorstruck voice.'It didn't want to come out of the dashboard.''So you felt the need to torture it?''You know how I am with tools. No pain was inflicted intentionally.'He shook his head, his face a mask of faux tragedy. 'You killed it.”

“Wanderer: You don't really feel that way about me you know. It's this body... she's pretty isn't she?Ian: She is. Melanie is a very pretty girl. Even beautiful. But pretty as she is, she is a stranger to me. She's not the one I... care about.Wanderer: It's this body.Ian: That's not true at all. It's not the face, but the expressions on it. It's not the voice, but what they say. It's not how you look like in that body, it's what you do with it. You are beautiful.”

“After a few minutes, he asked, real quietly, if you turned into an animal, too. And I said, ‘She wishes she was that cool!”