“History was easy, but I don't know about the Calculus. It seemed like it was making sense, so that probably means I failed.”

“Sometimes it seems so easy to make people happy that I wonder why I don't do it more often.”

“When the human being says:'It is not true...'He may mean:'I don't know about it, so I think it is untrue.'Or:'I don't like it.”

“Don’t even try to figure out where that came from. I assure you the logic chain in Bear’s head makes sense if you actually know him (and by ‘makes sense’ I mean in a Bear way), but for a newbie like you, it’ll probably just break your mind”

“I know none of this seems very believable. It probably doesn't even make sense. But for once in your life, please, I am asking you to trust me. Trust yourself.”

“I just want to clarify that I don't mean 'without my vagina' like I didn't have it with me at the time. I just mean that I wasn't, you know...displaying it while I was at Starbucks. That's probably understood, but I thought I should clarify, since it's the first chapter and you don't know that much about me. So just to clarify, I always have my vagina with me. It's like my American Express card. (In that I don't leave home without it. Not that I use it to buy stuff with.)”