“I don't care who's a werewolf and who's a vampire. If Angela turns out to be a witch, she can join the party too.”

“I believe that. But I want you to know something — when it comes to all this enemies nonsense, I’m out. I am a neutral country. I am Switzerland. I refuse to be affected by territorial disputes between mythical creatures. Jacob is family. You are . . . well, not exactly the love of my life, because I expect to love you for much longer than that. The love of my existence. I don’t care who’s a werewolf and who’s a vampire. If Angela turns out to be a witch, she can join the party, too.”

“I turned on the television and watched a movie about a girl who’d fallen in love with both a vampire and a werewolf. I’d already seen it a million times, so my eyelids grew heavy, fairly quickly. Ten minutes later I was out cold in my bed and dreaming of Duncan, who turned into a werewolf and was trying to kill my own vampire boyfriend. Every time I tried to see the vampire’s face, however, it was a blur.”

“Myth: Vampires can shapeshift into bats at will.Truth: Who would want to turn into a giant bat?Wait, don't answer that.”

“After I chased the werewolf and the vampire out of my office, I changed my clothes.”

“Vampires? You think vampires are real? Seriously?""The werewolf is asking me if I believe in vampires?”