“I know it’s going to be bad for you, Jacob. I understand that—maybe better than you think. I don’t like her, but… she’s your Sam. She’s everything you want and everything you can’t have.”
“Don’t leave. I want you to be with me.”“You’ll have your family.”I swallow before I say the words that will change this relationship forever. “You’re the one I need.”“But that would mean meeting your family.”It does, and I’m okay with that if it means she’s by my side. “I don’t care. I need you to be with me.”She smiles and cradles my face with her hands. “Of course. I’ll come if it’s what you want, but this is going to change everything.”“I know, but it’s what I want.”
“She’s forgotten me. It’s over. I don’t want to see her again, and now I’ll have to. I won’t be able to help it. I’ll have to sit back and just watch her…live. Without me.” The ifrit shrugs. “Then I overestimated your feelings for her.” My jaw drops. “How dare you? Because I don’t want to see that she’s forgotten me?”"No. Because nothing is really ever gone or forgotten. If she’s a piece of you, and you of her, then memory is merely an obstacle—our power covers the memory, it doesn’t erase it. And I should think, at least based on what I saw in your eyes last night, that it’s an obstacle worth going up against.”
“I don’t know. I don’t know, Jess,” he said as a sob shuddered through him. “Because I am a damned fool. Fuck! Ihave everything I want right in front of me, I love you so damned much I can’t think straight, and then it’s like…I don’tknow, like I’m so afraid of losing you, that I keep pushing you away so maybe I’ll stop caring as much and then it won’t hurt as bad if I do lose you. It’s so fucking twisted even I don’t understand it.”
“It’s really better this way, Ryan,” Paige said with a sympathy that made me nauseous.“Better for who?” he asked her. “For Jamie? For me? Or maybe just better for you. I can’t believe you, Paige! You have no idea what she’s beenthrough! Pain like you could never imagine! And you’re throwing it in her face over and over again for what? Because I’d rather go out with her thanwith you?You call her the ice queen, but Jamie would never do something like that to anyone.”“But look at what she’s doing to you,” Paige said.“She’s done nothing but make me happy, and she’s had to turn her entire life around just to do it.You guys are the ones doing all the damage!”
“Look, you’re right. Maybe I don’t like you the way someone should like you. I don’t like you in the call-you-and-read-you-a-poem-every-night-before-you-go-to-bed way. I’m crazy, okay? Sometimes I think, like, God, she’s superhot and smart and kind of pretentious but the pretentiousness just makes me kind of want her, and then other times I think it’s an amazingly bad idea, that dating you would be like a series of unnecessary root canals interspersed with occasional makeout sessions.”