“I think… and if you ever repeat what I’m saying right now I will cheerfully beat you to death, but I think that would hurt Jessica’s feelings”

“Repeat one word of what I just said and I'll cheerfully beat you to death, Mike.”

“I’m glad I came. I didn’t think I would be. But it’s good to see you… one more time. Not as sad as I’d thought it would be.”

“Would you please tell me what you are thinking? Before I go mad?”

“It's just that, I know how you're unhappy a lot. And, maybe it doesn't help anything, but I wanted you to know that I'm always here. I won't ever let you down―I promise that you can always count on me. Wow, that does sound corny. But you know that, right? That I would never, ever hurt you?""Yeah Jake. I know that. And I already do count on you, probably more than you know.”

“Say what you want, I still think Dracula One and Dracula Two are creep-tacular.”

“I can feel what you’re feeling now — and you are worth it.”