“I told you I didn't want to fight with Charlie.""Nobody said that you had to."I glowered at him. "I can't help myself when he gets all bossy like that―my natural teenage instincts overpower me.”

“When I asked him for some explanation as to why he wanted to kill me, he said it was because he didn't like his jobs. When I asked him since when had he not liked his jobs, he said since always. When I remarked that he had never told me this, and that I had gotten the impression that he had liked them, he said: "How is that possible? You know me. Do I strike you as stupid or boring?""No.""Then how could you think I would enjoy being an etiquette expert, or a Weight Watchers' counselor, or a stripper? How could you think that someone like me, with my mind, my character, would derive any satisfaction from those things?”

“I actually didn't mind too much that Gabriel had spent the past four nights in my room. He was relatively quiet, didn't go through my things, and liked to listen to my weird book ideas late at night. When I told him that I wanted to write a book about zombies taking over our town, he suggested that I make myself the hero and said nonchalantly, "You could even have to kill me after I get bitten. Wouldn't that be an awesome twist?" I didn't tell him then but I had no intention of ever letting him die in any book.”

“I'm sorry,' said the shopkeeper. 'I can't understand your ridiculous accent.''My accent?''It is quite silly.''So you can't understand me?''Not a word.''Then how did you understand that?''I didn't.' ''You didn't understand what I just said?''That's right.''You understood that, though.''Not at all.'The American glowered.”

“Nobody likes me!""I wish I could like you, Charlie Brown, but I can't... If I were to like you, it would be admitting that I was lowering my standards! You wouldn't want me to do that, would you? Be reasonable! I have standards that I have set up for liking people, and you just don't meet those standards! It wouldn't be reasonable for me to like you!""I hate myself for being so unreasonable!”

“God told me his plans for me. Boldly enough, I laughed at him. Then, I told him my plans for myself. Ignorantly enough, he laughed at me. I tossed him a pair of dice, but he told me that he didn't play with dice. Ironically enough, I had just forced him to play dice with me. He didn't like the fact that I held destiny over him.”