“Jasper? What do vampires do for bachelor parties? You're not taking him to a strip club, are you?”

“I hope,' muttered Jasper, 'we do not ever shop again at a place where vampires can buy clip-on bow ties. You would think with all of eternity in front of them, they could take the time to learn a simple knot.”

“Distract him? What the hell was I supposed to do? Strip naked and do the hula?”

“No matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, you're screwed because it's all fixed and rigged. There is a club and you ain't in it.”

“You’ll strip in front of a vampire when you don’t even know his name?”“You’re right! So what’s your name?”“My answer will be as forthcoming as yours. What do you want it to be?”“Some kind of name that fits a battle-scarred, overgrown vampire warlord.”

“She raised a sharp eyebrow at him. "Vlad, no offense, but look at you. If you're not a vampire, you're clearly the most anemic goth I've ever seen."... "We believed you. Because that's what friends do."pg267 October to Vlad”