“So… um… what’s the, er, date? You know, the due date for the little monster.”

“It’s exactly what’s wrong with computer dating…people lie.”

“I'm Dylan. I'm so cool. I want to date myself, but I don't know how! You want to date me instead? You're so lucky!”

“You're my world. I want everyone to know. I don't know how to date so I never even thought of taking you on a date. But I can promise you right now... I will be taking you on so many damn dates that there won't be a person in this town who doesn't know I worship the ground you walk on.”

“We all know our dates of birth but . . . every year there is another date that we pass over without knowing what it is but it is just as important it is the other date the death date.”

“Are you here to freak me out in any other way?""Nope.""This would include asking me for a date," I warned."Babe, don't date," he replied."You don't?""Do tequila shots followed by 5 hours of sex count as a date? he asked."Um... no," I answered."Then I don't date."I smiled at him.Then, stupidly, I asked. "You can have sex for 5 hours?"He smiled at me.Yikes.Moving on.”