“You know when things are bad when you feel guilty for being rude to vampires.”

“It's not a good feeling--knowing that you profoundly deserve the title of monster. It's better to be kind than to feel guilty.”

“One of the many hazards of socializing with vampires. It makes you smell bad. A minor hazard, comparatively.”

“I know you're frustrated that he's keeping you locked up like this, but don't give him too bad a time when he gets back. He loves you more than you know. It terrifies him to be away from you.”

“Dad, I wrote. I'm with Alice. Edward's in trouble. You can ground me when I get back. I know it's a bad time. So sorry. Love you so much. Bella.”

“What are you say it out loud tell me the basic thing vampires eat”

“I felt like - like I don't know what. Like this wasn't real. Like I was in some Goth version of a bad sitcom. Instead of being the A/V dweeb about to ask the head cheerleader to the prom, I was the finished-second-place werewolf about to ask the vampire's wife to shack up and procreate. Nice. - Jacob”