“a story is ready when it falls from your face”
“Ideas are self-replenishing, like snot”
“One golfer a year is hit by lightning. This may be the only evidence we have of god’s existence.”
“The most amusing thing about a pantomime horse is the necessity of having to shoot it twice.”
“Painkillers are the drugs of the future”
“One thing you’ll say for skeletons, they’ll always give you a smile.”