“Dreams always end before you kill the last person.”

“I feel the way bank robbers must feel before they go out on that last job that ends up getting them all killed. That is to say, optimistic.”

“A good dream was something you clung to until the last moment before waking.”

“You know, I've been almost kidnapped and killed more times in the last thirty-six hours than anyone in history, and yet here I am trying to help you work through your personal issues and that Claire...that is why I always get the last cookie,”

“It couldn’t last. Everyone was just killing time. But if all they did was kill time, time would end up killing them.”

“WHAT WAS JANE AUSTEN'S LAST FINISHED NOVEL?""Vaginas and Virginity.""WHO IS THE LAST PERSON IAGO KILLS IN OTHELLO?""His manservant Retardio, for forgetting to change the Brita filter!""WHAT HAPPENS TO THE LITTLE MERMAID AT THE END OF CHRISTIAN ANDERSEN'S THE LITTLE MERMAID?""She turns into a fish and marries Nemo!""Fuck you!”