“One golfer a year is hit by lightning. This may be the only evidence we have of god’s existence.”

“Crime is one of the many methods justice may select.”

“Originality irritates so obscurely that people may have to evolve to scratch it.”

“A sniper is like a genius - it’s not enough to be one, you have to be one at something.”

“We have truth in order not to die of art.”

“In America, fundamentalist Christians believe the world was created 6,000 years ago - in England people drink in bars that are older than that.”

“The clerk tripped on the carpet, hit a window and went through, carrying with him a vase which had been on the sill. His skull broke like the vase and the vase broke like his skull, and both burst forth water mainly, and from the vase some flowers. If I could choose a death I’d make it something like that, except I’d add a good woman and some lard.”