“The most amusing thing about a pantomime horse is the necessity of having to shoot it twice.”

“You know the thing that burns me most about being a kid?...The worst thing about being a kid is that people twice my size with half my brains get to run my life.—Zoë”

“Haven't you ever heard of the saying, "If you want to shoot the general, first shoot the horse!"?' --LinIf you wanna shoot the general, then you should just SHOOT THE GENERAL!' --Ed”

“You know, if my life was a horse, I’d shoot it. (Susan)”

“But what about the horses? Have they always had horses here?""Probably. Colonial words usually have horses; they're cheap local transportation,self-replicating.”

“Behind me, I heard a young woman of 25 say, "If it weren’t for my horse, I wouldn’t have spent that year in college." Now, I'm gonna repeat that, because it bears repeating. "If it weren't for my horse..." as in, giddyup, giddyup, let's go — "I wouldn't have spent that year in college," which is a degree-granting institution. Don't think about that too long, or BLOOD will shoot out your NOSE!”