“Everyone said to Vincent van Gogh, "You can't be a great painter, you only have one ear." And you know what he said? "I can't hear you.”

“There are ten rules of business that you need to know... You have to play to win, but you need to win to play... I'll give you the other nine after lunch.”

“I`m already seeing my daughter`s cynical sense of humor and she`s 6! I bought these shoes, and I`m thinking I`m a cool dad, I`m going to show her my new half-boot shoes. So I said, "What do you think of these?" And she`s like, "Mmm no, not liking them." (2007)”

“Joan Baxter (Lauren Graham): “You want to build a boat?”Evan Baxter: “It might be something fun for the family. Go sailing on the lake. I don’t know. [looking at his feet, under his breath] Be great in case it floods or something…”

“You may look around, and see two groups here. White collar, blue collar. But I don’t see it that way. You know why not? Because I am collar-blind.”

“They say that when you find true love, you know within the first 24 hours. Well with Carol I knew within the first 24 minutes... of the second day that I met her.”

“Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject. So you know you are getting the best possible information.”