“So Ryan got promoted to corporate, where he is a big fish in a little pond. Where as back here in Scranton I'm still top dog, in a fairly large pond. So who is the real boss, the dog or the fish?”

“It is St Patrick's Day and here at Scranton, that is a huge deal... It is the closest that the Irish will ever get to Christmas.”

“Toby is in HR, which technically means he works for corporate, so he’s really not a part of our family. Also, he’s divorced, so he’s really not a part of his family.”

“I'm an early bird and I'm an owl. So I'm wise and I have worms.”

“I'm not superstitious, but I'm a little stitious.”

“I have no idea where my pathetic nature comes from. If I thought about it too long, it would depress me.”

“You all took a life here today. The life of the party.”