“The White House reception committee greeted the Prime Ribroast Minister and… I do the cha-cha like a sissy girl. I lik-a do da cha-cha. I’m sorry we seem to be having some technical difficulties.” — Evan Baxter”

“Joan Baxter (Lauren Graham): “You want to build a boat?”Evan Baxter: “It might be something fun for the family. Go sailing on the lake. I don’t know. [looking at his feet, under his breath] Be great in case it floods or something…”

“I’m trying to decideWhich way to goI think I made a wrong turn back there somewhereDidn’t cha know, didn’t cha knowTried to move but I lost my wayDidn’t cha know, didn’t cha knowStopped to watch my emotions swayDidn’t cha know, didn’t cha knowKnew the toll, but I would not payDidn’t cha know, didn’t cha knowCause you never know where the cards may layTime to save the worldWhere in the world is all the timeSo many things I still don’t knowSo many times I’ve changed my mindGuess I was born to make mistakesBut I ain’t scared to take the weightSo when I stumble off the pathI know my heart will guide me back”

“It's human nay-cha...For me to sperminay-cha.”

“I want to be the first and second man to dance on the moon. No, I won’t moonwalk. But I will Cha Cha—with my clone.”

“So you're the guy who did the no-no cha-cha with my baby sister.”

“Half a leagueHalf a leagueHalf a league onwardWith a hey-nonny-nonnyAnd a hot cha-cha.”