“Yeah, I went hunting once. Shot a deer in the leg. Had to kill it with a shovel. Took about an hour. Why do you ask?”

“He turned the gun sideways! That’s a kill shot!”

“They say that when you find true love, you know within the first 24 hours. Well with Carol I knew within the first 24 minutes... of the second day that I met her.”

“You all took a life here today. The life of the party.”

“You may look around, and see two groups here. White collar, blue collar. But I don’t see it that way. You know why not? Because I am collar-blind.”

“I have no idea where my pathetic nature comes from. If I thought about it too long, it would depress me.”

“I`m already seeing my daughter`s cynical sense of humor and she`s 6! I bought these shoes, and I`m thinking I`m a cool dad, I`m going to show her my new half-boot shoes. So I said, "What do you think of these?" And she`s like, "Mmm no, not liking them." (2007)”