“Did I never tell you Sassicaia makes me horny?”

“From his vantage point on the window sill, The Dude cocked a rear leg back over his head and proceeded to lick at his private parts with a thoroughness that would make a lesser man blush. I shook my head at the sight and mumbled, “Show off,” in the animal’s general direction. For a moment the tiny kitten hesitated, leg still extended behind its head, face still over its crotch. It narrowed its eyes at me, let out a displeased sound, then promptly got back to work.I suppose there are worse things than being a cat.”

“I looked like a corpse, and not a particularly fresh corpse at that.”

“I mean, electric shock? Isn’t that a bit... electric shock-y?”

“The world is full of complainers. But the fact is, nothing comes with a guarantee. I don't care if you're the Pope of Rome, President of the United States, or Man of the Year--something can always go wrong. You go ahead, complain, tell your problems to your neighbor, ask for help-- and watch him fly. Now in Russia, they got it mapped out so that everyone pulls for everyone else--that's the theory, anyway. But what I know about is Texas, and down here... you're on your own.”

“Pink champagne... yeah, uh, that's too nelly, even for me.”

“Papa, I'm ashamed that you think women are so simple. We can make decisions for ourselves too, you know. I'm not a child or a baby anymore, so I'm allowed to speak my mind. And if you don't wish to hear it, just tell me so and I'll go into another room-but I'll speak it anyway. I want this for myself as much as I've never wanted the diplomatic corps and I'm going to get it-even if I have to do it alone. Excuse me.”