“I'm the undisputed champion of keeping my mouth shut and just sitting there like a piece of furniture.”

“There are, I have discovered, ten commandments for mother-in-law. These rules are not mine. They come from mothers-in-law of every color, race, class, and disposition. Given the diversity of the women, the uniformity of opinion on this compels attention -- also discussion. Here are the ten most recommended rules:1. Keep your mouth shut.2. Keep your mouth shut.3. Keep your mouth shut.4. Keep your mouth shut.5. Keep your mouth shut.6. Keep your mouth shut.7. Keep your mouth shut.8. Keep your mouth shut.9. Keep your mouth shut.10. Keep your mouth shut.”

“So, are you just going to stand there looking like a piece of furniture?”

“Do shut your mouth--you'll catch flies sitting there like that.”

“See? This is why I'm not religious. I couldn't possibly keep my mouth shut long enough to get along with everyone else.”

“I won't regret saying this, this thing that I'm saying. Is it better than keeping my mouth shut? That goes without saying. Call, break it off call, break my own heart.”