“Always...no wait...never.....”

“A girl who is willing to give every ounce of herself to someone, who could never betray her lover, who never suspects maliciousness of anyone, and whose sexuality sleeps in her, waiting to be stirred.”

“But my mother was aglow. She had a continuing fascination with celebrities, and now she had one of her own. She was never moved by what I was doing (in an interview she said, "He writes his own material, I’m always telling him he needs a new writer")…”

“I opened the show with this line: "I have decided to give the greatest performance of my life! Oh, wait, sorry, that's tomorrow night.”

“How many people have never raised their hand before?”

“The banjo is such a happy instrument--you can't play a sad song on the banjo - it always comes out so cheerful.”

“I've heard lots of people lie to themselves but they never fool anyone.”