“Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.”

“I believe entertainment can aspire to be art, and can become art, but if you set out to make art you're an idiot.”

“You want to know how I think art should be taught to children? Take them to a museum and say, 'This is art, and you can't do it.”

“When someone less capable is ahead of me, I am not pleased. It makes me insane.”

“She had destroyed whatever was between us by making a profound gaffe: She met me.”

“People in coats and ties were milling around the Talley gallery, and on the wall were the minimally rendered still lifes by Giorgio Morandi, most of them no bigger than a tea tray. Their thin browns, ashy grays, and muted blues made people speak softly to one another, as if a shouted word might curdle one of the paintings and ruin it. Bottles, carafes, and ceramic whatnots sat in his paintings like small animals huddling for warmth, and these shy pictures could easily hang next to a Picasso or Matisse without feeling inferior.”

“…when the person beside you is making you alert and keen and the idea of being with anyone else is not imaginable…”