“I don't like the new president who hunts muslim extremists, I like the old president who is a muslim extremist.”

“New study reveals men like to cuddle. Another study reveals men will say anything to get into bed with a woman.”

“Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us.”

“I hold a little fundraiser every day. Its called going to work.”

“The struggle in the Holy Land is no longer Palestinian versus Israeli, or Muslim versus Jew. It is between those who seek peace and extremists who promote terror.”

“President Bush, have a hot dog with me.”

“In America, we know to ignore artists if they're serious in any way.”