“Attack life, it's going to kill you anyway.”
“God works in mysterious ways but at least he works, he's never on welfare in a mysterious way.”
“It's official. Highway patrolmen are not susceptible to the Jedi Mind Trick.”
“I don't like the new president who hunts muslim extremists, I like the old president who is a muslim extremist.”
“Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us.”
“In America, we know to ignore artists if they're serious in any way.”