“Sure, I had been through the DARE (Drug Abuse Resistance Education) program when I was a kid. I had seen Nancy Reagan’s pasty white ass on TV telling me to, “just say no”. But Nancy Regan had never had to worry about paying the rent, or living pay check to pay check, or finding her dad’s rolling papers on the shelf above the coco-puffs. So I guess in Nancy Reagan’s world it was pretty damn easy to adopt retarded slogans like, “just say no”. I wouldn’t know, though. I lived in the real world. I had problems.”

“Excitement in Eastport? Nay! But I had time to snoop around Nancy Drew style.”

“I had entered Kidneyland. I was officially a patient now. Somehow, I had managed to walk through the door: WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF SICKNESS. We have air-conditioning and HBO.”

“I stared at her. Maybe I wasn't the brightest guy in the world when it came to girls, but I was pretty sure Rachel had just dumped me, which was lame considering we'd never even been together.”

“Nancy had a mouth like a remembered kiss...”

“- I see the real world, Nancy. But it doesn't seem real to me.- How does it seem?- It seems like an illusion that nobody notices.”

“When I was a kid we had a sandbox. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child...eventually.”