“Almost sixteen weeks after I'd woken up on the bedroom floor, the lightbulb box arrived.”
“I'd woken up early, and I took a long time getting ready to exist.”
“I went to the bedroom and lay on the floor, so as not to mess up the covers.”
“I'd woken up this morning and nearly crapped my pants with fear. Whoever invented Internet dating deserved to be strung up: it was a terrible idea.”
“If I'm working this hard in the morning, I'd prefer it be because my man has woken me up with an eight-inch nudge.”
“It would almost be easier to have woken up and found that everything about her life was a lie, instead of just this one awful truth.”