“Jesus being born as a baby was God's way of laughing at a world trying to grow up too quickly.”
“Actually, Saint Peter was in jail, one time --"I laugh. "Babies don't go in jail.""This happened when they were all grown up."I didn't know Baby Jesus grows up.”
“Jesus is God's way of refusing to give up his dream for the world.”
“I feel sorry for little babies... When a little baby is born into this cold world, he's confused! He's frightened! He needs something to cheer him up... The way I see it, as soon as a baby is born, he should be issued a banjo!”
“To be astonished is one of the surest ways of not growing old too quickly.”
“Baby, it's either laugh or cry and crying takes way too much energy. If you can't find humor in the shit life heaps on you, you really will grow miserable.”