“i busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.”
“99% of all lawyers give the rest of them a bad name.”
“Do the people in Australia call the rest of the world 'Up Over'?”
“A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.”
“The sign said "eight items or less". So I changed my name to Les.”
“I was in the supermarket the other day, and I met a lady in the aisle where they keep the generic brands. Her name was 'woman.”