“A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, 'Wish you were here.”

“I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wakeup letter.”

“The other day I went to a tourist information booth and asked, 'Tell me about some of the people who were here last year.”

“I wish, when I was first born, the first thing I said was "Quote" so the last thing I said before I died would be "Unquote.”

“Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop?”

“I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they’d never expect it.”

“I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.”