“always remember your unique, just like everone else”

“You know how it is when you go to be the subject of a psychology experiment and nobody else shows up and you think maybe that's part of the experiment? I'm like that all the time.”

“There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.”

“What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?”

“You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading... and all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time.”

“Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!”

“If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?”