“Did you sleep well?" "No, I made a couple of mistakes.”

“When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?”

“When I was a fetus, I used to sneak out at night when my mother was sleeping. I figured I should start stealing stuff while I still had no fingerprints.”

“I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”

“If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.”

“I finally got around to reading the dictionary. Turns out the Zebra did it.”

“I was in a grocery store. I saw a sign that said 'pet supplies.' So I did. Then I went outside and saw a sign that said, 'Compact cars.”