“How do you get off a non-stop flight?”

“How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?”

“You know how it is when you’re walking up the stairs, and you get to the top, and you think there’s one more step? I’m like that all the time.”

“How did a fool and his money get together in the first place?”

“When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving.”

“I got a new shadow. I had to get rid of the other one – it wasn’t doing what I was doing.”

“What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?”