“How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?”

“You know how it is when you’re walking up the stairs, and you get to the top, and you think there’s one more step? I’m like that all the time.”

“Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, "Do I know you?”

“How do you get off a non-stop flight?”

“What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?”

“You know how it is when you go to be the subject of a psychology experiment and nobody else shows up and you think maybe that's part of the experiment? I'm like that all the time.”

“You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading... and all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time.”