“I put tape on the mirrors in my house so I don't accidentally walk through into another dimension.”
“Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.”
“I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, 'The whole time.”
“I spilled spot remover on my dog; now he's gone.”
“I named my dog Stay, so I can say, 'Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!”
“I once locked my keys out of my car. I had to break out of my car with a coat hanger.”