“I had amnesia once or twice.”

“Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.”

“The sun got confused about daylight savings time. It rose twice. Everything had two shadows.”

“I once locked my keys out of my car. I had to break out of my car with a coat hanger.”

“What happens if you get scared half to death twice?”

“If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?”

“Once I tried to kill myself with a bungee cord. I kept almost dying.”