“I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.”

“I have a hobby. I have the world’s largest collection of sea shells. I keep it scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you’ve seen some of it.”

“I have a map of the United States... Actual size. It says, 'Scale: 1 mile = 1 mile.' I spent last summer folding it. I hardly ever unroll it. People ask me where I live, and I say, 'E6.”

“You know when you're sitting on a chair and you lean back so you're just on two legs and you lean too far so you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time...”

“I named my dog Stay, so I can say, 'Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!”

“My friend has a baby. I’m recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.”

“I don’t have to walk my dog anymore. I walked him all at once.”