“I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.”

“Sometimes I talk to myself in languages I'm unfamiliar with... just to screw with my subconscious.”

“I just lost a buttonhole.”

“I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.”

“In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Madagascar. She said, 'Cut it out.'”

“I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it.”

“I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don’t know how I got there.”