“I just lost a buttonhole.”

“I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.”

“I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.”

“Sometimes I talk to myself in languages I'm unfamiliar with... just to screw with my subconscious.”

“In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Madagascar. She said, 'Cut it out.'”

“You know when you're sitting on a chair and you lean back so you're just on two legs and you lean too far so you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time...”

“always remember your unique, just like everone else”