“I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wakeup letter.”

“I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, 'The whole time.”

“I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.”

“Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, "Do I know you?”

“I named my dog Stay, so I can say, 'Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!”

“A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, 'Wish you were here.”

“The other day I went to a tourist information booth and asked, 'Tell me about some of the people who were here last year.”