“I was in a grocery store. I saw a sign that said 'pet supplies.' So I did. Then I went outside and saw a sign that said, 'Compact cars.”

“I went down to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, 'Hey, the sign says you’re open 24 hours. He said, 'Yes, but not in a row.”

“The sign said "eight items or less". So I changed my name to Les.”

“I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking,' but I didn’t have that much time.”

“I went to a general store, but they wouldn’t let me buy anything specific.”

“I went into a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically.”

“I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, 'The whole time.”