“I went down to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, 'Hey, the sign says you’re open 24 hours. He said, 'Yes, but not in a row.”

“I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking,' but I didn’t have that much time.”

“24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?”

“I was in a grocery store. I saw a sign that said 'pet supplies.' So I did. Then I went outside and saw a sign that said, 'Compact cars.”

“I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, "Got any shoes you’re not using?”

“The sign said "eight items or less". So I changed my name to Les.”

“Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on theroad an hour.”